DEBRA [Names have been changed to respect confidentiality.]

I had a graduate degree in international relations and was job hunting when I made some irresponsible choices. My pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand. For me, abortion was not an option and I wasn't ready to be a parent. At the same time, I wanted my child to have both a father and a mother. Adoption seemed to make the most sense.

But things got hard. I had to withdraw from a classified government agency training program. To walk away from a lifelong dream was a crushing blow. When I started to feel the baby move, I questioned how I would be able to part with my own flesh and blood. And there was the matter of choosing adoptive parents. I'd considered several couples, but I had ruled them all out for various reasons.

I moved to enter a Ph.D. university program. A woman at church noticed that I was pregnant. She was compassionate when I shared my circumstances, and related how she had placed her first child for adoption just two years earlier. It was helpful to see that she had had a positive experience. But I didn't like another person's ideas forced upon me. Life decisions were mine to make and mine to live with.

I joined an adoption support group. The meetings motivated me to find the right direction for myself and my baby. Just one month before my due date, I told God I was willing to do whatever He wanted, but I needed confirmation from Him that I was making a decision.. On instinct, I telephoned an adoptive couple I'd seen on a website months earlier, but had originally discounted. I felt an immediate connection with them. As we talked, they casually shared their first choice for a girl's name. It was one I had secretly chosen. To me, it was God's sign to proceed with an open adoption. I nearly backed out right after I gave birth. But by focusing on my baby, and what was best for her, I was able to sign adoption papers.