LISA [Names have been changed to respect confidentiality.]

My freshman year in college is when the most painful time in my life occurred. In my first semester I met a guy whom I thought I could trust and call a friend. One night, he bought me alcohol and I felt obligated to drink. After that, I didn't want to drive back to my dorm, so this "friend" offered to let me stay over his place. I was grateful, but naïve at the time. I don't really remember what happened but I woke up in the morning, took one look around and realized that I had been date-raped. Disgusted, I left quickly and told myself to pretend it didn't happen.

I never spoke to that guy again. A month after the incident, when I found out I was pregnant, I was devastated. I have always loved children, so my first thought was to keep the child. Then I thought 'What would others think and say?' I lied to many people and told them everything was fine, when on the inside I wanted to die. In the end, I had the abortion. After that came the depression, mostly around the anniversary dates of the rape and abortion. This led me to be in negative, even abusive, relationships with guys and I found myself caught in a cycle. After the abortion, I felt that I didn't deserve anything good.

A few years later I met with a volunteer counselor from LifeChoices named Kelly who talked to me about healing after the abortion. I nearly cried when she was talking about it. Kelly told me about the love, grace, and forgiveness God had for me. It took a while but I finally let go of the seemingly endless guilt. I can now accept the good things that happen to me. My life has changed completely. I know there is a good plan for my life and I can move on.